So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
