I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
