What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
