hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Randomize