is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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