Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
