Sry I called you an 8
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
