Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
