and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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