You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
