they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
"it" just moved
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
