I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
