I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
