So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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