I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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