READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
