This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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