why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
