Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
This is my gift to your gina
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
