i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
