Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
