Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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