I'm so fucking centered right now
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
