when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
