Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
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