I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
