if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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