We're facebook friends in real life
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
