Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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