Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
