let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
