C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
