I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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