and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
