Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
