So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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