tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Help me help you realize you are a moron
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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