Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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