I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
