Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize