So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
