i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
