sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
