She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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