We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
