I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
