I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
