First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
