everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
