I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
