i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
