I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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