I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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