his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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