Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i think i have herpe
just one?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
