No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
