if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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