Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I am spending my child support on dildos
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
