i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
