Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Help me help you realize you are a moron
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Two words: nipple clamps
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