One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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