Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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