did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
