Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize