do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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