someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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