Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
