i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
