You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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